I have been thinking alot about changes lately and how they creep into our lives whether we know it or not. This recent trip back to my former hometown of 12 years was just another routine visit. Nothing out of the ordinary - saw some friends did some checking up and ate and drank alot.
The strange part came more as an overview with no real point of reference except a looking back on the past and looking at the present. Everyone is still doing what everyone does and, of course, there are tons of changes in every individual's life. But something else was nagging at me as I thought about where I am at. It was as if clarity had reached me and I was stepping into an understanding of how my time here works.
I know all that shit about hindsight and the other clichés but I swear this came on more as a perspective shift in my understanding.
I now realize that all the shit that happened to my parents has happened to me. It's as if I always thought that on down the road this and that will happen and I'll be in this place or there. The reality of the - I'm here never dawned on me until recently. I don't believe or mean to say that this is it, this is all it will be, now buy your houses have your families and do all the things that make up the remainder of your life. I just got this sort of kick in the way things come into focus.
A realization that there are opportunities here and that it's time to start thinking of them as windows that do disappear. This was an awaking to the here and now with its actual concrete importance being shown to me. Seeing my friends and family get on with their respective paths in life has only proved a reminder that this is happening, it's all happening right now. Not a conceptual now but for now as everything is changing and always has, so putting off the in inevitable for me is showing itself to be a bit old and outdated.
Sorry if this comes across as a micro midlife crisis or something we all know but don’t talk about, but this is where I am. Contained are some recent photos of Rosa as seen through a three-day trip, one block party, one visit to the Wagon Wheel and a hand full of conversations about all starting with the words how are things in LA.